I woke up with a strong urge wanting to revisit the Gisèle Pelicot case that rocked our collective worlds last year. For those of you who may have forgotten, simply google her name. I didn’t quite understand why I wanted to revisit this news again, but it consumed my morning and afternoon as I read article and article tirelessly of all that was written about the case.

I was fighting off a plausible distaste in my mouth while reading as the emotions of disgust were too strong to simply go on. Why then did I continue reading? I had to honor the nudge that pulled me into this rabbit hole.

After a couple of hours, I sat back recovering from the injury of having my sensibilities assaulted and my mind refusing to calm down. I have never thought of myself as a man-hater or someone who wrote off an entire sex as incorrigible. Right now, I am not so sure. Reading the statements of the 50 men who had r*ped, assaulted and coming to learn that none of those men truly regretted the heinous act, they were simply distraught it came to light. I have read in many a books about the vileness of men, the unfathomable wickedness they are willingly to commit to satiate their lusts. From war crimes to Epstein files, girls and women are left suffering in the hands of men.

This is not a rant. I am not predisposed. I am not overcome with emotion. I took my time to recover from the beating my mind took from reading the facts of this case.  The chatroom her husband created to recruit men to r*ape his wife was called ‘without her knowledge’. While we are on the fence on what consent is, here men have again pushed the goalpost to “without her knowledge”.

If she is drugged, asleep and cannot feel or remember anything, what really is the harm?

Pardon my heavy sighs.

Gisele wanted the courtroom proceedings to be made public and said, “When you’re raped there is shame, and it’s not for us (the victims) to have shame, it’s for them. Shame must change sides.” This. What a woman. Even at 72, even amid the face of such lewdness and injustice, to know what happened to you in not who you are is the real super power. She also said, “I wanted all woman victims of rape — not just when they have been drugged, rape exists at all levels — I want those women to say: Mrs Pelicot did it, we can do it too.”

I advocate and live by believing your good to overpower evil and not to dwell on the pain of being wronged. However I never gained a perspective on my pain, I only consorted to dealing with it without hurting anyone . Hurting myself in the process was allowed. To carry resentment or unrequited justice was admirable too, because I held my composure and went on with life without taking any revenge or passing that pain to anyone else.

True freedom comes from forgiveness and recognizing a shameful thing happened to me, but I need not be ashamed because of it. Thank you Gisele, its time to place shame where it belongs — to the one who did a shameful act not the one who was the recipient of it and did not willingly participate. An example of beauty from ashes!